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16 Days Of Activism And Holding On To Hope

For most of us hope is not a word that we would strongly associate with 2020 and yet never has it been so important that we look for it and where it does appear, we hold onto it tightly.

But hope alone is not enough. It must be partnered with action, accountability and underpinned by a belief that change is possible. For the women who fought before us and for all those who will follow, we have to hold firm in our belief that the injustices and inequalities that run throughout our society are not inevitable and – with hope and perseverance – will end.

Finding A Way Through - Some Thoughts From Our Helpline

Hello! It goes without saying that these are really difficult and disruptive times. This is not what we are used to, it’s a time of fear and uncertainty and a hotbed for anxiety – it’s okay if you don’t feel okay.

It’s also okay if you’ve not transformed into a yogi and banana bread enthusiast (it’s also okay if you have, magic!) and it’s completely normal to have good days and bad days and really truly terrible, dark days.

Remember, you are not alone.

Lots of calls to our helpline (which is still open 6pm – midnight every night on 08088 01 03 02) recently have talked about the impact of Covid-19 partly because right now looking after ourselves is a lot more challenging.

This situation is bringing up feelings of being trapped and of being out of our control, and many of the coping strategies we rely on are out the window. Home might not necessarily be or feel like a safe place for you.

If all of this is bringing stuff up for you, is triggering or disorientating please know that is completely normal. For most of us this is unlike anything we’ve ever experienced before, so we don’t know how we are going to react. There is no right or wrong way, we just have to try and find *a way* through.

Be kind to yourself

Give yourself permission not to be hyper-productive or your best self. None of this is straightforward so it’s fine if you are feeling worse than last week or the week before. If you can’t give yourself a break during a global pandemic and national crisis, when can you?

Connection is super important right now so many of us are spending time on social media – which can be great but do keep in mind as you are scrolling through sourdough that by and large people are not posting the hard moments or the darker days. Don’t mistake having an internet connection for social connection, sometimes social media can actually make us feel lonelier. Reach out and check in with your people through Facetime and/or text.

International Women's Day 2020

One of the things we often hear when we say we work with Rape Crisis is that must be so hard. It must be so hard to be surrounded by all of that trauma.

In truth it can be hard. Knowing the scale of harm caused by sexual violence in Scotland and beyond can weigh heavily. Improving responses to rape and sexual assault is no small task, it means creating a society that responds to survivors with compassion, holds perpetrators to account, and it also means trying to redesign systems – including justice systems – to make them compassionate and truly just. For us it also incredibly difficult to sit with the knowledge that many people who need specialist support face an unacceptable wait to access life-saving services. We never, ever want to turn someone who needs us away.

But it’s important to say that in our work we are reminded every single day of the strength, resilience and downright determination of women and of survivors. Rape Crisis is built on the shoulders of women who stepped up for one another when nobody else wanted to listen. And listen these women did, sometimes on landline in a cupboard used as a helpline of sorts, shared amongst a community of women resolute that if a survivor needed someone to speak to then they would answer. Rape Crisis Centres were built because women worked every single hour under the sun and more to make it happen; fundraising, lobbying, and at times pleading because they knew the value of a safe space for survivors.

These days our helpline infrastructure is considerably better, but the significance of there being a number to call where survivors will be believed, listened to and supported is unaltered. Rape Crisis in Scotland is a safe space for survivors in a world that can feel hostile and uncaring. We know because so many survivors tell us: Rape Crisis saves lives.

Against all odds (and the expectations of those men who have spent a lifetime underestimating women) over time Rape Crisis became a movement, and a powerful one. We are a movement that has changed lives and laws. We have witnessed and protested extreme injustice and we have challenged power. The progress we have made in Scotland is testament to the work of women – survivors and workers together for there cannot always be a distinction – resolute that a better, safe and fair world is possible.

Across 17 local centres in Scotland women are working to support survivors of all genders, they are working in schools and universities to prevent violence and helping survivors to navigate complex institutions and systems from courtrooms to healthcare. Demand for our services is unprecedented, and funding has not kept up, but still our message to survivors would be to reach out and ask for support. We won’t always be able to give that support immediately and that is not right or fair – we are working hard to change this – but you are worthy of support. You deserve a space to process what you’ve experienced, no matter what happened or when. We believe you.

In the last year the Survivor Reference Group have met with the Cabinet Secretary for Justice and Lord Advocate to share their experience to drive change, members have helped to shape the Forensic Medical Services Bill and will soon give evidence to the Health and Sport Committee at the Scottish Parliament. Those survivors involved privately and those who have spoken publicly do so because they don’t want anyone to go through what they’ve been through, and also because they want those who have already to know that they are not alone. We are so grateful for the work and advocacy of the Survivor Reference Group – they are making a real difference.

So, this International Women’s Day we want to say that we are grateful to all those women working and volunteering as part of the Rape Crisis movement who do so yes, because we are angry about the injustice of sexual violence, but also because we believe that it doesn’t have to be this way. This is not inevitable.

Our vision is for a safe, equal and just Scotland; today and every day we celebrate all those who are grafting to make this a reality.

Without Justice - Willow's Story

Content note: This blog includes details of rape and sexual violence.

Early in 2018, Willow (not her real name) found the courage to leave her abusive partner of 12 years. It wasn’t the first time she’d left – and it wasn’t easy – but this time she knew it was for good.

After she left, at first they were on relatively good terms. They would text to coordinate pick up and drop off times, meet up to do handovers, and generally try to keep everything as normal as possible for the sake of the children.

As time passed, and it dawned on him that this time she wasn’t going back, his mood shifted, and everything changed.

“I knew him inside out,” Willow tells me. “I knew what he was capable of.”