Why me?

Women of every age, race or religious background are raped. No matter where you were, what you were doing, what you were wearing, what you were saying, if you were drunk or under the influence of drugs, you did not deserve this. The responsibility always lies with the attacker, not you.

Our statistics show that women are more often attacked by someone they know and trust. No matter who the attacker was you did not deserve what has happened.

How do you feel?

	If you have been attacked recently you may be in shock. This can mean that you are feeling numb, unemotional, be in total disbelief, be crying, shaking, laughing or physically being sick.
	You may feel to blame and responsible for what has happened.
	You may be having nightmares or experiencing difficulties sleeping.
	You may be “reliving” the events (flashbacks), these can be triggered by a sound, situation or smell and can be very frightening (see the section on survivors and flashbacks).
	You may have lost confidence, trust in yourself and others.
	You may be feeling worthless or have feelings of self-hatred.
	You may be finding it difficult to cope with day-to-day life.
	You may be feeling angry, irritable and be short-tempered with those close to you.
	You may feel dirty and ashamed about what has happened.
	You may be depressed, upset and tearful a lot of the time.
	You may feel suicidal.
	You may be afraid e.g. of people, places, being on your own.
	You may be experiencing relationship or sexual difficulties.

Everyone reacts differently to a traumatic event. Whatever you are feeling is a normal response to what has happened.

The list above is by no means everything you may be feeling and indeed some women experience none of the above.

Some women cope by…

	Using drugs (illegal or prescribed) and / or alcohol.
	Eating control, bingeing, vomiting, starving (anorexia and bulimia)
	Self-harming / injuring e.g. cutting, burning, scrubbing.
	Forgetting and completely blocking out the memory of what has happened – these memories can be triggered by events later in life e.g. birth of a child, death of the abuser, TV programme.

You must remember that you did not ask for this to happen to you. Many women find that speaking about their experience, although often difficult and painful, helps them come to terms with what has happened. Speak to someone you can trust or contact your local rape crisis or rape and sexual abuse centre.

The healing process

Healing can take time. Take things at your own pace, there is no right or wrong about how long it can take to come to terms with something like this. Don’t forget you don’t have to go through this process alone. Break the silence and share your thoughts and feelings about your experience with a trusted friend or family member, partner or another survivor, or speak in confidence to a trained support worker at one of our centres.

Even if the attack was some time ago, your feelings are important.

If you have just been raped or sexually assaulted

	Try to be somewhere that feels safe.
	Its likely that you will be in some form of shock after what has happened. It's important to keep warm and drink plenty of fluids.
	If possible, see if a friend or someone you trust can be with you.
	Have any injuries treated by your doctor or at a hospital.
	If you think you would like to report the incident to the police, you can either contact the police directly, or speak to your local rape crisis centre. The section on police and courts in this website can give you more information about what reporting might involve.
	If there is a possibility of pregnancy you may want to take the morning after pill (up to 72 hours after) or have a coil fitted (up to 5 days after). To do this, go to your Family Planning Clinic or GP.
	If you are worried about sexually transmitted infections, you can have fully confidential advice and treatment from your nearest genito-urinary medicine clinic. You do not need a letter from your doctor.You don’t have to give the clinic your real name and you could ask a friend or a centre support worker to go with you.